Monday, October 03, 2005

Trusting God

What a month. sigh My dad went in for double by-pass surgery on the 25th of August. Things got really complicated when he got staph infection and pneumonia. We thought for awhile that he wasn't going to make it as his heart was having afibrillations (sp?) and was beating furiously. He was "out of it" in a coma-like state for about a month. David and I both flew back to see him and Mom. After another surgery and various invasive procedures, we weren't sure if he was going to pull through! This past week he came out of the state he was in and is a lot more responsive. It looks as if it may be months of hospital treatment and therapy before he will be allowed to go home, assuming that no other infections set in during that time.

It is amazing how my faith grew through the tough experience of being there during such a critical time. Why does it take these serious situations in life to make me rely on God more? It seems such a bandaid solution to say, "Trust God in the hard times...", but really that is what it boils down to. When there is no other hope I can always trust in His mercy and grace. He doesn't promise me that it will ever get better, but He promises His presence through it all.

What irks me is my humanness! It seems like as soon as I flew away out of the pressure of being there at his bedside I stopped leaning so hard on the Lord. There was something so reassuring about the realization that I am nothing without Him. I can't make it through life on my own. But I'm confident that whatever happens, even if it is the worst of circumstances, I can completely trust His sovereignty.

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