I have to confess that I struggle with parenting pride. It is truly disgusting, because I know that my children are just on loan to me and that God is truly the only One Who deserves any glory. My most recent battle was yesterday. My two year old is enrolled in Awana this year. She is a year too young for it, but I attend a Bible study for ladies and the child care providers at the study have decided to include the two year olds in the Cubbies program. Each week they are assigned a verse to memorize. If they memorize the verse they receive a sticker and probably a few accolades.
Our memorizing session took place yesterday, the day before she was to recite the verse. That was my first mistake- not working on the verse all week long. Our talk went something like this.
"Ok, Squeaky, we're going to learn a verse!" She sits down beside me on the floor and looks at the paper.
"While we were sinners, Christ died for us. Ok, you say it." Blank stare.
"Ok, this isn't hard. Whii-uuul we were..., say that part." She stutters, "whul weserre..."
"No, Whi-ul we were sinners..." She's lying on the paper.
I say "while...", trying to get her to say the rest of the verse and she just repeats "while". Finally I get her to say, "While...sinners...for us." By this time she's alternately jumping around the room and sliding the paper around like a boat.
The drill sargeant suddenly shows up, "Sit up, let's say the verse! Stop goofing around." She gets up then, and takes off across the room to the haven of her bookshelf.
I sigh, deciding to just sing the verse to a little tune I made up over and over until it is drilled into her little skull... "While we were sinners, Christ died for us... while we were sinners, Christ died for us..."
The meaning of the verse was lost to me as I fretted and fussed over whether or not my two year old would regurgitate the words properly, or if she'd make me look like a terrible parent who can't teach their kid a thing.
Now I feel sheepish, but I have to say that she did finally learn the verse (she woke up from her nap knowing the whole thing) and said it this morning to the Awana lady. I feel guilty for forcing my perfectionist expectations on my little girl and for also ignoring the heart of the issue- that I'm a sinner for whom Christ died!!!