Limericks

I like limericks. I like the way they sound. Here are a few we've written.

There once was a gerbil named Pippin.
She ran ‘round right rippin’ and snippin’
She jumped out of her cage
And onto the stage
And now Pippin’s nose is drippin’!

There once was a turtle named Baldy
His head looked like something from Spalding
He sat with his friends
And tried to make amends
But that was not his life-long calling.


There once was a limerick so gracious
It took up room– it was spacious
It filled up my page
And into Pippin’s cage
It annoyed and simply enraged us.

The day was so warm, bright and lazy
From afar it seemed rather hazy
But when examined up close
You had to pinch your nose
Because something smelled kind-of crazy.

Pippin the gerbil got out
She pushed up the lid with her snout
She fell to the floor
And thought, “What a bore!
Next time I’ll try a different route!”

We once got a bill from a hydro company
It was strange because we didn’t use any
The bill was for more
Than we could afford
So we sit in the dark now— how uncanny!

We once made a big, big decision
Between us it caused much division
We kissed and made up
To prevent a hiccup
In our marriage, and saved an incision.

I live on chocolates and ice cream
It is true, not just a big dream
I eat all that I want
My growth I’ll not stunt
Next time you see me, you’ll scream.

I no longer work at Tim Horton’s
But I’ve learned just what’s of importance
Jobs need to have more
When they’re only a bore
They need big bucks, and a free-coffee licence.